I've spent my entire mini vacation trying to get myself NOT to think about work. When I left work on Thursday night the next curriculum was finished, journals waiting for parents in their mailboxes, and my paycheck tucked safely in my purse. All I had to do was mentally clock out of preschool and clock into four days away from my center. Day one was spent on packing, traveling, and taking a deep breath that it was finally Friday and I was where I meant to be. Saturday was a whirlwind of mini adventures. By Saturday evening I was forgetting what day it was and starting to get anxious about work. My typical day off is Fridays, but switched my day off the following week to get Monday off instead. What if something happened on Monday and I was needed? What if I forgot to relay a super important message from a parent to Ms. H or vice versa? What if I was supposed to do something and I wasn't there to get it done? So many what ifs. I did not successfully check out of preschool mode. Sunday I start contemplating planning for next week. By Sunday night I'm receiving news of changes in staffing that has an impact on my classroom and go into panic mode. What teacher doesn't want to be worrying about work while on what's supposed to be a relaxed, no stress, work free long weekend?
Yet, here I am on my way back home hopping on my work e-mail and responding to e-mails. What is wrong with this picture? I'm a young woman with enough experience to have many references and able to find work, but am I already at the point where all I think about are lesson plans, looking for toilet learning resources for parents, or tomorrow's joke or quote or one liner to put in the daily note? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely am confident that I'm in the right field of work for me, but should I have not gone into head first, full force, and blindfolded? Is it all catching up to me?
Do all young professionals feel this way? I didn't grow up thinking I'd go into early childhood. I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast, world renowned chef, professional napper, and high school art teacher at a private arts school. Now I'm in this field and have never been more confident in my abilities. Thing is, is it taking over the rest of my life? Can I see myself as a woman who works as a teacher? Am I more than a teacher? (Even though teacher in this case includes: care taker, nurse, chef, therapist, cleaner, singer, artist, photographer, writer, specialist, athlete, security...)
Wait a minute. I know I'm more than a teacher, but how do I turn it off when I want to be something else? What do I do when I'm trying to have a fun night out and all I end up thinking about is what would be a fun art project for a unit about next week's unit?
Back to teacher work: Next week's unit is actually about photography. Any ideas as to how to do that with a very young preschool class? Most of our kids are in the process of turning three within the next month or two.
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